Believe it or not, a full year has passed from last Halloween, the day I retired from active federal service. So I thought it was time to take stock and consider what surprised me and what didn’t about retirement.
First, I loved my work, but I don’t miss it at all. I miss the people, who are some of the most talented, dedicated public servants you could imagine. I still follow current events, and wonder sometimes about the “rest of the story” behind the headlines, but that is as far as the itch goes. That was then, this is now.
Second, you really must have some hobbies, commitments, or things you want to do with those hours that are suddenly all yours. Yes, you’ll sleep-in longer, take naps, eat leisurely meals, read those books you always meant too, and maybe even work out regularly. Guess what? I did, and there is still more time available on your clock. I have covered my new interests in past blog posts, but everyone who retires faces this key question: what do you want the next chapter of your life to be about? For the married and retired crowd, it is important to pick up some mutual interests. Yes, every couple needs alone time, but all relationships are either strengthening or weakening, and you can’t improve what you don’t work on together. For example, I ditched running, and Judy and I hike and work out at the gym together. I can easily see how couples who retire and don’t plan ways to spend time together could grow apart.
Next, we got to spend more–and better–time with our grandkids. Scheduling out visits with four working adults was always stressful, and put a lot of pressure on the actual visit. Now we can adjust to our kids schedules, and that makes it so much easier. We are still figuring out the fly/drive options, the week/weekend options, the summer/school year options, and (oh yeah) the holidays! We don’t have it perfected yet, but man was it great getting to spend “days-n-days” with grandkids.
Stuff: we have a lot less of it! Once we got into the habit of not routinely acquiring things we saw or heard about, and then got rid of what we had acquired by putting it to the “do we really need this?” test, the burden of owning stuff mostly evaporated. It feels so much better, costs a lot less, and I can only think of one or two things I got rid of that I later thought I should have saved.
Mexico? Mexico has delivered as promised: less cost, less stress, great quality of life. The US President’s need to constantly berate Mexico has driven the Peso down and caused some irritation among the proud Mexican people, but they easily distinguish between what the US government says and does, and their expat neighbors (so far)!
Judy’s health has been outstanding; I feel the best I have in years, but have been plagued by a series of minor issues: higher cholesterol, some other blood work numbers out of kilter, more cavities, a nagging cold/cough/allergy of some sort, and that health scare right after we arrived here. The best news is the quality of the doctors and dentists has been good, and the costs really low. Judy will get a tooth crowned next week for about $200. We finally figured out how to submit our health insurance claims online back to the States, and the reimbursements have been quick and consistent.
Living in a small town, we have rediscovered what Edmund Burke called “the little platoons” we all belong to: communities. We have groups of friends: the Church group, our neighborhood(s), the Focus group, and so on. These groups continue to expand as we become more active in the expat community. Within each group we have made lasting friends that create a source of mutual assistance, understanding, and resolve.
Finally, my biggest surprise was this: once the stress of work/life was off, I could re-evaluate long-time personality quirks and habits and decide whether they were still necessary. I drive slower–not slowly mind you, but slower than before. And I hardly ever get angry while driving; I’ll get there, God willing, and if someone else needs to cut the line, Vaya Con Dios! I am somewhat less punctual. I still don’t buy into the fashionably late concept, but I don’t feel like I’ll waste the artillery bombardment if I don’t cross the LD on time (military jargon–sorry!). I am enjoying little things more: a sunset, or a hummingbird, or a video-chat about nothing in particular with a grandchild. Judy reminded me there is no Sunday-night-stomach-ache-ahead-of-the-workweek in retirement. She’s right. She’s always right: that is probably the least surprising part of retirement!
This is my favorite post of yours so far, although I have enjoyed them all. It is so nice to see that you and Judy are doing well and enjoying the perks of retirement!
Oh Pat just to be rid of the Sunday night stomach aches makes it all worthwhile! I so look forward to retirement! 200 for a crown I just got one along with the required root canal , was not even in the same time zone as 200 lol.
Pat: nice introspection on your and Judy’s first year. It resonates. I’ve only been out five months but the new rhythm is still in the making. Gym a bit more/sometimes with Lorna, friends for lunch, seeing grandkids, more reading for pleasure (I alternate fiction and nonfiction), tours at Udvar Hazy and meeting folks from all over the world. Put in six days (over five months) back in our old shop helping out. Just enough to enjoy seeing the old gang, not enough to get immersed. Keep up your blogs!
I truly enjoy your blogs, and for me this was one of the best. I echo everything except the parts about being an expat and living in Mexico. I retired as soon as I turned 55–almost immediately was called back after
9-11 for another year. So I have now enjoyed 15 years of retirement and it has gone by so quickly. So pleased they have been years spent with my dear husband and other family—especially grandchildren (18 at last count). No amount of extra money could replace those wonderful years of feeling healthy and happy—loving every day beyond words to explain. I belong to Garden Club, Book Club, Altar Society, and volunteer as a Eucharistic Minister at mass, the hospital and for home bound. But any of those things can be put on hold for a vacation, to help or visit family, etc. Our time is ours and we try to make the most of it. Enjoying two weeks visiting in Texas now (grandchildren, brother and sister, my almost 98 year old mother, and other family members). Thanking God every day for a beautiful life! Hope you and Judy continue to thrive on your path!