Greek Travel Tips

In no particular order:

• Greek is not a spoken language. It is a shouted language. Time and again, we would walk down the streets and locals would start shouting at one another. They weren’t angry, or even excited. They were just Greek. Do not take offense at it; it is part of the culture. To avoid being shocked, Judy and I took to making up instantaneous (mis-) translations of the encounters, such as: (Man on street) “DID YOU SEE HOW GREAT THE WEATHER IS TODAY?” (Woman on street) “YES, AND IT WAS LOVELY YESTERDAY, TOO!” (Man) “WHY YES, YOU ARE CORRECT!” At times, a shouting Greek (redundant) would turn to us and say–in subdued, polite, perfect English–“may I help you?”
• I found little rhyme nor reason to pricing. A gyro (grilled meat and vegetables stuffed in a pita wrap) would be two or three Euros, but a mixed grill dinner (the same thing, unwrapped) would be ten. Taxis were expensive on Santorini & Rhodes, but cheap on Crete. Buses were cheap everywhere. There were usually “cash discounts” from businesses (big or small) who wanted to avoid paying VAT to the government. Tax avoidance is the Greek national pastime.
• Damn near everybody speaks English, and if they don’t they will find someone who does for you. Greeks assume their language is just too hard for everyone else, but they are thrilled if you try. Try these simple rules: thank you is EF-ka-ris-TOE (which reminded me of the word eucharist), hello is Ya-SUE, good morning is Ca-lee-MER-a (think calamari) and good afternoon is ca-lee-SPER-a. Thank you and please is pa-ra-ka-LOW. Cheers is YA-Mas.
• You already know Greek cuisine is amazing. But you may not know just what Greek cuisine is. That is, back in the States, a number of things that are actually Lebanese or Turkish cuisine get lumped in under the title “Greek cuisine.” Add to that confusion the fact that sometimes these foods make a transition. Take moussaka, which I liken to a Greek version of Irish shepherds pie. It is Lebanese/Turkish in origin, but when the Greeks achieved independence from the Ottoman empire in the early twentieth century, they cleansed Turkish influences from everything. For moussaka, that meant adding béchamel sauce (from France), which somehow made it “Greek.” You’ll see far more pork than lamb in your souvlaki and gyros: no pork for Muslims in the region, but it’s cheaper and tastier for everybody else. You may not find hummus, although if you ask for it the kitchen will probably make it for you. Normally, Greek pita is dipped in olive tapenade or tzaziki.
• Cappuccinos are for breakfast. During the warmer part of the day, Greeks drink frappe, which is an odd mixture, served cold, made from instant coffee whipped to a thick foam, with or without milk. It comes with a glass of water to “cut it.” You MUST stir it before drinking, or it’s like mainlining coffee-laced coke. Trust me, that’s from experience. Drinking it properly is a refreshing experience.
• There are many ways to get around the Greek isles. There are hydrofoils (very fast and direct), ferries (usually much slower, sometimes overnight), and hop flights of about an hour. Many times you must connect through Athens, but it is not a hassle; Athens International airport is about the size and complexity of a mid-size American airport, so it is a good option for connections.
• That said, timetables and schedules are understood to be aspirational goals. We had a hydrofoil from Santorini to Heraklion, and I double-checked the schedule to find it left ninety minutes later than originally posted. No message, no warning. But I had a scheduled pick-up from the port in Heraklion, so when I became aware (the morning of departure), I called them. The taxi service told me “yes, yes, we know, we track these things. The ferries are always changing. It’s ok.” I hadn’t even told them what island I was on or what line I was coming in on! During the rare bad weather in the Aegean, ferries and planes cancel frequently. It all works out.

• When your culture is thousands of years old, you have to work your way around some things. Like ancient ruins. But you don’t let that stop you.

• When your culture is thousands of years old, you have old pipes. Hence this image everywhere:

• Like most European countries, there is good health care available all over. Judy took her now customary fall while we were walking in Santorini, and the next morning we were easily able to find a pharmacy where she could get an ankle brace and a sample pack of topical anesthetic.

• You’ll need to adjust your eating habits. There is no way to eat three meals a day without being in serious danger of exploding. We had a breakfast buffet available at our hotels, then we looked for one full other meal, either in the afternoon or early evening, and that was almost too much. Remember, Greek food is very flavorful and rich. Two appetizers probably equal a meal for one person, and you’ll probably receive either a free dessert or digestif, like ouzo or raki, afterward. True story: after two free dessert plates and a small pitcher of raki on Sunday afternoon, we decided to go visit one more museum. Due to the raki, we accidentally went to the natural history museum instead of the history museum, but hey, why not? Except we were warmly welcomed into a special event: an earthquake simulator, where we learned all about how it would feel to be in real earthquakes like those recently in Japan or Taiwan. Mostly we learned that we don’t want to be practically inebriated for the next earthquake. Lesson learned!
• Amphora and Stelae are to Greece what castles and cathedrals are to the rest of Europe. After a while, they all start to look alike. However, if you pay attention, sometimes you see one that calls something else to mind:

• Greeks have a word for “no” but they don’t have a concept for it when it comes to food. At one hotel, breakfast included Greek yogurt & honey, fresh bread & butter, coffee & fresh orange juice, eggs your way, olives with tomatoes and feta cheese, ham & cheese toast, cheese pie, and assorted fresh fruit. The second day, we told the staff “no” to cheese pie, so they brought apple pie. That day, we asked the hotel owner where to buy baklava, and he said he would bring it to us the next morning. Our last morning, he called us while we were at breakfast to see if he could bring some more. We told him, “no, thanks,” so he brought two other large desserts instead. Just say “yes.” It doesn’t matter what you eat. Our taxi driver told us this: it does not matter what is on your plate, as long as the table is full.