Random musings from our six-week excursion, starting in Amsterdam, through Milan and Puglia, down to Sicily and back up to Vicenza:
- I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but it still amazes me that casual American culture has so overtaken Europe. Even baseball caps are no longer a dead giveaway of American tourists. I can’t tell you how many middle-aged (aka “adult”) men I saw wearing t-shirts with vulgar English-language slogans (e.g., “if you can read this, f*ck you!”) who were clearly locals. Athletic shoes (I am old enough to have typed tennis shoes before correcting myself) for all, athleisure apparel wear for women, be-sloganned t-shirts for men (although still no shorts, gracias a Dios!). Yes, Europeans still dress well for work or to go out at night (i.e., when they want to be dressy), but otherwise they look as slovenly as any middle-American mall cohort. *sigh*
- Vaping was a constant wherever we went: far too many people in Europe have not gotten the message it’s as bad as smoking. There was a lot of toking in Amsterdam, a lot of regular smoking the farther we went south in Italy. Restaurants and businesses upheld all the correct laws about non-smoking, but often it was easy to be surrounded by a cloud of smoke out and about.
- Why has Europe perfected healthy, delicious snacks and quick meals, and the US hasn’t? We got bagged cornetti (fruit-filled rolls) on the trains in Europe, and they tasted fresh and good, even after a few days. You could buy snacks from an automat machine and they tasted good. Coffee vending machines? Excellent! Even the prepared meals/snacks in the supermarket were well-done, easy to prepare, and healthy. Contrast that with America: pizza rolls (motto: “no animals or vegetables were harmed in the manufacture of this product”), desiccated 7-11 hot dogs, stale Twinkies from a vending machine last inspected in 2011. Didn’t we invent fast food? And why does US fast food have unpronounceable ingredients? It’s enough to make one believe in the conspiracy theories!
- Evolution has not caught up with the Italian people in light of the cell phone. Watching a young Italian woman hold a phone video conversation on a train was worth the price of admission. One hand cradling the device, the other gesturing wildly. Then a sudden pause, as she shifted the phone to the other hand, and resumed gesturing with the first. And so on, back-n-forth. Until they master hands-free technology in Europe, the Italians are throttled.
- Permissive parenting is a drag. I like to be around kids; I really enjoy playing games with my grandkids. But I am used to, and expect, parents to teach children their place in society. I had a chance to book a “quiet car” on TrenItalia and thought “why?” Well I learned why, because the two Italian families in our car let their children play tag, run, and scream around the car for an hour. Likewise, our attempt to sit in a cafe near Bari and enjoy the outdoor setting was ever-so-slightly disturbed by two Italian grandparents who seemed to really enjoy their grandson chasing pigeons in the park. Shrieking at the top of his lungs. For half-an-hour straight. So loud the three local men listening to the live feed of the calcio (soccer) match couldn’t hear the broadcast. Ay-ay-ay!
- The Dutch like fried food. . . a lot. I learned that Dutch expats miss most bitterballen: fried, battered meatballs. They also crave raw herring sandwiches. I thought this was because of all the coffee shops and MJ use, but it long predates that. I never want to hear anybody criticize pizza rolls again.
- Italian cuisine, in its many forms, is amazing. But is it okay to admit that while every place in Italy claims to be unique and special in its pasta/cheese/tomatoes/ragu/etc., that in the end, the similarities are far greater than the differences? It’s all good; it’s often great. But I’m sorry, it is all not that different. And it is still hard to find any other cuisine in Italy, except in larger cities.
- If you are going to travel by train in Europe at all, make sure and google some combination of the name of the country you will be in, the month, and the words “train strike.” They are so regular that they actually frequently announce them. Few things would be worse than finding that the train service to your airport is disrupted on the day you’re leaving.
- Before we left I was cleaning out my clothes closet and decided it was finally time to throw out my twenty-year-old cargo pants. Damn if they’re not back in fashion, all over Europe. I could have been vintage! Ditto for mom jeans, but I don’t have any.
- My suspicion that a sport coat was all it took to pass as “not an American tourist” still has a perfect record. Since I bought a good, lightweight, navy blue sport coat and started wearing it–especially on travel days–I have never had anyone walk up to me and start speaking in English. Or ask where in America I was from. The sport coat is not exactly a style setter, but it is enough to look like a serious adult (even me!), it’s comfortable (if you research and buy the right product), and it holds up even to machine washing. I do need to learn the phrase “Sorry, I don’t speak ______” because I do get asked for directions, time, weather, etc.
- If you really want to score some points travelling, learn a little about the national politics where you are headed and ask a local (e.g., a garrulous taxi driver) what they think of a party, a candidate, or an issue. Most Europeans I met are amazed to find an American who knows a little about their national politics, and they will willingly vent on the subject. It’s fun, educational, and passes the time.
- The Chinese tourist wave, which washed over Europe just before Covid, has still not resurfaced. Which is not to say places aren’t crowded with tourists, just not large Chinese tour groups.