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Vampiritos!

Little vampires, but not to worry, they are the delicious kind, one might even say…succulent. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

We ended our series of local day trips by driving home along Lake Chapala’s south shore, through the village of San Luis Soyatlán. It is a tiny strip along the main highway with a few parallel streets both lakeside and mountainside, not unlike Ajijic. However, it is a pueblo real, not a mestizo gringo comunidad like Ajijic. In my experience, San Luis Soyatlán is mostly known for being a place with a carretera that is barely two cars wide, so when trucks navigate it, or when anybody stops to shop on the main street, a “one-way-at-a-time” backup ensues.

But why would anybody stop on the narrow main street, knowing what happens? And what are they stopping for, anyway? Well we found out.

Vampiritos. Little vampires, as it were. It seems San Luis Soyatlán is the birthplace of a refreshing Mexican cocktail that is now famous across the country: the Vampirito. The Vampirito begins with sangrita (itself a mix of OJ, tomato juice, chile, salt, and lime) poured on ice. Then they add a custom mix of grapefruit soda (called Squirt), more fresh-squeezed OJ, and of course, your personal selection of tequila. The result is a fruity, slightly sweet, slightly salty, carbonated drink with a little zing (remember the chile?) and a little (or a lot of) kick. The special signature of this drink is that it is often served in a large plastic bag with a straw, because regular customers complained that plastic cups spilled in their cars when driving over Mexico’s many topes!

So you see people walking around with gold-fish bags filled with blood red fluid and a straw, happily sipping away; no one would ever think of driving while drinking one, apparently.

You can get an 80 or 100 peso bag…more if you choose a better tequila.

Since it was 12:01, we caused the required traffic back up and pulled over on the wrong side of the street in front of one of the many stands which sell Vampiritos in San Luis Soyatlán.

Judy caused the line to back up because this was our first vampirito…
But she returned with two-fisted success!

Judy opted for cups, because the bags seemed too precarious while driving (for her, not me…no vampirito until I got home). The drinks are as advertised: refreshing and delicious, but dangerous, as there is no tequila taste despite watching the shots poured into the drink. One of the more enjoyable aspects of being an expat is trying flavor combinations that would have made me retch back home, only to learn those people aren’t crazy, this really does taste good!

San Joselito

José Sánchez del Río was a young boy growing up in the small town of Sahuayo, Michoacán, during the early 20th century. This made him an unremarkable character, but for the Cristero rebellion which broke out in 1926, and that’s where his story gets interesting.

The rebellion known in Mexico as La Christiada began when Presidente Plutarco Elías Calles sought to enforce the strong anti-religious (and specifically in 20th century Mexico, anti-Catholic Church) provisions of the 1917 constitution. The Church had been a vocal opponent of the revolution, and the victorious socialist government wrote provisions into that constitution basically separating Church and State. In 1926 however, Presidente Calles took this a step further, instituting fines for wearing a Roman collar in public, sentencing priests who criticized the government to prison for five years, seizing all Church property, closing all religious institutions, and dramatically limiting the number of priests allowed in the country in an attempt to eliminate the Church as a competing power center.

Religiously conservative states like Jalisco and Michoacán went into open revolt against the government, and a guerrilla war went on for three years. Total battle deaths topped 100,000 during the war, a proportional rate about half that of the US civil war. As is often the case in insurgencies both sides engaged in atrocities, and one of the victims was young Josélito.

He repeatedly sought to join his older brothers in the Cristero cause, but he was refused due to only being twelve years old. Eventually he was permitted to join as a flag bearer, then eventually a fighter. During a losing battle near his hometown of Sahuayo, he gave his horse to General Guizar Morfin, who escaped the battlefield while Josélito fought on and was captured.

Side chapel shrine in the Church where he was baptized and held prisoner

Josélito was held in his own village Church, which the government had turned into its military headquarters/prison. For two weeks, he was beaten, forced to watch an execution, and encouraged to renounce his faith. When this failed, his captors tortured him with a machete, then skinned the soles of his feet and forced him to walk to his own execution site, all the while encouraging his apostasy. Next to a shallow grave, he was repeatedly stabbed as he shouted “¡Viva Cristo Rey!” until he was shot in the head.

The way from the Church to where he was executed is memorialized with small silver footprints

The Cristero rebellion ended after a settlement negotiated under the auspices of the US Ambassador to Mexico, Dwight Whitney. Presidente Calles’ stringent laws remained on the books, but were largely unenforced. The Catholic Church and the Mexican federal government came to a modus vivendi which went through periods of resistance and repression that lasted all the way to 1992. In 2016, Pope Francis canonized Josélito.

The memorial where he was exeucted. The plaque has the words he told his mother why he wanted to join the Christeros: “Never before now has it been so easy to win Heaven for yourself!”

Since we were on the south side of the lake near the Jalisco-Michoacán border, it was a short drive to Sahuayo, where we were blest to see San Josélito’s Church/prison, and the site of his execution.

The place that makes arrows to hunt deer

Heavy traffic on the way into town…these guys would NOT yield

That’s the name (in Nahuatl) for the town where we’re making a short visit: Mazamitla (Mah-zah-meet-lah). The locals must have been good at arrow-making, because we haven’t seen many (any) deer. Mazamitla is a tiny pueblo of 12,000+ souls, nestled high in the mountains above the south side of Lake Chapala. When I say high, I mean it: it’s another 2000 ft above mile-high Ajijic, our home.

The federal government designated Mazamitla a Pueblo Magico or “magic town” in 2005. This is a special designation for the most interesting natural or tourist destinations. What is so special about a tiny mountain village that it warrants such a status?

Lotsa wood
indoors too
and in the courtyard
evevry pueblo has one of these

Pines. Buildings with wood frames and ornamentation. A climate even milder than lakeside, with averages around 70/50 degrees F. And its nickname is la suiza mexicana, Mexico’s Switzerland. Tapatios from Guadalajara flock here on the weekends to escape the heat and the noise of the big city: they turn the cabins and campgrounds into non-stop parties. We also wanted to take a break from the tropical sun, but we wanted peace and quiet, so we’re visiting during the week.

Nothing says “you’re out in nature” like animal heads on the walls

The amount of wood, especially pine, used in construction and decoration is conspicuous in Mazamitla. Then there is their early 20th century church, which has a vaguely Asian style.

Anybody else see pagodas?
Fairly modern interior

One of the local delicacies is Platillo de Sopa, or big-honking bowl of soup. With large cuts of beef, pork, chicken, corn, potatoes, carrots, a zuchini and a jalapeno, topped off with fresh limes, diced onions and cubed avocados. Probably a hearty stew for the nights when the temperature drops below 50!

I couldn’t wait while Judy took a picture

hearty breakfast
hearty dinner

There are a variety of eco-themed adventure parks, but for the less adventurous (us), we just walked down to the waterfall. Going mid-week at the end of the dry season meant we had the waterfall pretty much to ourselves. You can get a all-terrain vehicle for the day at several locations, all using standard Mexico rules of the road (“helmets? we don’t need no stinkin’ helmets!”).

Los Saltos waterfall
Up close & beneath
the walk back up gave me camino flashbacks

Everything we heard and saw indicates this small town has a split personality. The restaurants were very large and numerous. There were small “typically-tourist” souvenir shops, and many tourist-themed tours. And we heard from friends about the legendary parties on weekends. Yet here we were mid-week in a quiet little town populated almost entirely by locals who seemed genuinely surprised to see us show up in their restaurants and shops.

So if you’re looking for an eco-adventure tour and party, visit on the weekend. During the week, it’s only for the introverted at heart. The weather is always great.

Speaking in Tongue

After two years of Spanish classes (average size: four students and one teacher), two times a week, two hours per class, we seem to have reached a point of intelligibility. That is, after two years of college-level credit, we are able to understand and be understood (mas o menos) when conversing with locals en español. Which is something, and proves very useful around these parts. We now feel comfortable veering off the well-beaten expat path and travelling a little around Mexico, even to those places where a gringo is an unusual thing. More importantly, we can engage in the small conversations which grease the skids of day-to-day life.

Which is not to say we don’t have those momentary freezes when, for example, our gate guard suddenly asks “¿saben la contraseña por la puerta?” which sounds like “¿sabenlacontraseñaporlapuerta?” But we pause, and digest, and then the light goes on, and we respond “¡Si, por supuesto!” Nothing like being fluent, and I would be exaggerating to call us truly conversant, but we are making discernible progress.

Idiomatic expressions just have to be memorized, as is the case with any language. In English we “take a turn,” in Spanish they “give a turn.” In Spanish it “makes hot” and in English it “is hot.” Pronunciation is easier in Spanish, as all the letters have one-and-only-one sound and there are only a few consonants with exceptions. Spanish is very verb-based: verbs in their various tenses and conjugations tell you almost everything you need to know in the sentence. In English we would say “Give it to her.” It is a simple, complete thought, with an implied subject, action verb, and predicate (direct and indirect object…don’t worry, I won’t ask you to diagram the sentence!). While a bit vague, in context it makes complete sense. In Spanish, it would just be “Dáselo.” The form of verb “Dar” tells you it is an imperative command in the present tense, and the “to whom” (se or her) and “what” (lo or it) are just suffixes to the verb. Simple, right?

It gets complicated in the past tense. In English, we mostly use the simple past: I walked. Yes, we could use the more esoteric tenses such as “I was walking…” or “I had walked…” or even “I have been walking…” but really, how often do we use them? In Spanish they have two distinct tenses for the simple past: pasado/preterito and imperfecto. Each has its own rules for use, and different conjugations. The former is for actions already completed (among other causes), while the latter is for actions in process (again, among other things!). So in English I could say “When I walked there, I always walked slowly.” Both are simple past tenses in English and use “walked.” But en espanol, it would be “Cuando caminé allí, siempre caminaba lento. The first use of the verb “to walk” (caminar) is an action from the past already completed, so it is conjugated as preterito. The same verb is used again as a habitual action (the clue is siempre, or always) so it is conjugated as imperfecto. Got it? Yeah, me neither.

Native Spanish-speakers move flawlessly between the two tenses. If you were telling a story about things you did and how you felt at the time, the former would be preterito and latter imperfecto. It is as natural to them as the difference between right/write/rite is to an English-speaker. Depending on the context, you just know which one is…right.

One of the nice things about butchering Spanish among the Mexican people is they seem genuinely pleased you’re trying (apologies to my French friends, but this does not apply en francais!). If you use preterito when you should use imperfecto (or vice versa), they may correct you, but they will understand and nod and keep the conversation going…oftentimes with them speaking flawless English and you hacking away at español!

Climate changes

Take it easy, there, this is NOT a political post. I do smile every time I hear the phrase “climate change.” It’s such a self-evident truism: climate is a dynamic process, so it always is changing. Yet climate change as a slogan is so much better than global warming, which captured very little of what environmentalists were worried about. Anyway…

We are in the final month or so of our annual climate change. The dry season, which began around October, should end by June. The coming of the rains is attested to by the sounds of the rain-birds, which we hear clearly now throughout the day. The rain-birds are actually annual cicadas, and the buzz the males emit sounds distinctly like static on an analogue AM radio (only those of a certain age will even understand this reference). It is loudest in the early morning and early evening, or maybe that is just when other noises are absent so I notice it. Local legend is that the sound of the rain-birds indicates the rain will come in six weeks. We’ll see…probably about as accurate as forecasting winter on a rodent’s shadow.

We live in a high desert plateau, so one should not be surprised to find it dry. But because water is plentiful from the lake, we have abundant flora befitting our latitude (Hawaii) , if not our altitude (Denver). During the dry season, the mountains (which are of course not irrigated) turn brown.

It is hard to describe just how dry it gets here during the seven or eight months of the dry season. We had a few rain drops fall in December and January, probably because of El Niño (more on him later), but other than that, nada. Large dust piles build up alongside the roads, and work crews come out and shovel them up, otherwise they create mini dust storms as you drive by. Oh, and they would be a mud hazard once the rains do come.

It is so dry that the crop stubble from the last harvest does not decompose in the fields, so the farmers take to burning it. Of course, open field fires and a dry season beget uncontrolled burns in the mountains. One just crawled up the far side (nearer to Guadalajara) of the Sierra above Ajijic and is over-topping the peak as I write.

View from the Walmart parking lot shows the spread.

Not to worry, as there is a lot of terrain between the fire and most lakeside developments. Part of the tragedy of the extreme destruction during California’s wildfires is that the cost of land has pushed development ever further into the woods and canyons (also, buyers like to be among nature). Those same places used to burn with very little consequence; now they burn homes, livelihoods, lives. Something similar happens in Florida with sinkholes. The more development spreads atop a limestone peninsula, the greater likelihood a sinkhole will swallow a home. Here we have a few villas or small developments climbing the mountainside, but most development is concentrated nearer the lake, with adequate room to make fire-breaks, if necessary. Yet development continues apace, and views from up the mountainside are spectacular, so…

Meanwhile, the temperature has climbed to the low 90’s under an intense tropical sun. The snowbirds have migrated home NOB, and many full-time residents have taken trips, as this is the ideal time to avoid the “worst” weather we have. Planning a getaway so as to return for the cooler, more lush rainy season is an art form. Some don’t realize it may be even more difficult this year, because of El Niño.

This weather pattern (officially the El Niño/Southern Oscillation or ENSO) is caused by surface water temperature changes in the Pacific Ocean, and when it (or its obverse, La Niña) happens, it results in major weather pattern changes. Climatologists confirmed El Niño for 2019, which resulted in a cooler, wetter winter here: remember those odd rainy days in December, and the run on firewood in January?

You can see that the most severe El Niño weather changes do not affect central Mexico, but we are close to the colder/wetter conditions for winter, and warmer/drier conditions for summer. Luckily, 2019’s El Niño is a mild or “weak” one, so the effects should be lessened for all. But locally we might expect a delayed or reduced rainy season.

Why are these weather patterns named El Niño and La Niña, literally the boy and the girl in Spanish? The warmer surface water temperature in the Pacific was first noticed by South American fishermen, who also noted it always began in December. While el niño means the boy, the capitalized version refers only to one specific boy, appearing also in December: the Christ Child. La Niña became the title for the opposite condition.

More than you probably wanted to know, but if it rains on your Polynesian vacation trip this summer, remember, I warned you the climate was changing!

Trips to the vet

An entry on the continuing sage of everyday life as an expat in Mexico.

Last week, as I walked our dog Tucker around the entry to our development, he stopped, as is his custom, to smell this and that, eat some grass, and do other quintessentially dog things. And then at one point, he leaned over and snarfed something. I called him over, and whatever he had, it was firmly in his snout as he desperately tried to swallow it before I could extract it. I stuck my fingers in between his jaws and pulled them apart, but my hand slipped, he bit down on my fingers (ouch!), I let go, and he swallowed it, whatever it was.

Dog poisonings are a thing here, but I wasn’t too concerned because we were inside our development property. Still, there are all kinds of things in our tropical paradise that a dog shouldn’t eat.

A day or so later, he vomited a little. Then the next day, he did it again. He stopped drinking water. On Friday he vomited one more time, and on Saturday, he refused to eat breakfast for the first time in nine years. And we were off to the vet on Saturday. The day before Easter. The week when everything in Mexico is closed for the Semana Santa holiday.

Although the vet had been closed Thursday and Friday, we were in luck: they were open Saturday until 1:00 pm. We took him in and waited about twenty minutes. They examined Tucker and took an x-ray: I am sure I got a few roentgens myself, as I helped secure him on the table. I wasn’t even aware they had started the machine as I leaned over and pinned the dog on his side in a “stretch” position. Oh, well, just radiation, right?

Sure enough, something had severely irritated his stomach and it was swollen. He was also dehydrated. They put an intravenous port in his right front paw and gave him a bag of fluid. He also got the first of three daily shots of a combination of anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, and vitamins.

The doctor told us to come back Easter morning for the second shot. We asked “aren’t you closed?” and he said “yes, but we’ll meet you here.” We arranged to meet at 8:00 am. The nurse checked the dog and said he didn’t need another bag of fluids, so she gave him a shot and we were on our way in ten minutes.

On Monday morning we returned for the final shot. They examined Tucker again and we reported he was not vomiting, he was eating and drinking normally and had recovered his energy. They removed his IV port and told us to return on Wednesday for an ultrasound just to make sure, so we made the appointment.

After the ultrasound, the vet told us Tucker’s gallbladder was still a little inflamed, and he had aspirated some vomit into his bronchial tubes. We got some meds to address both issues and agreed to a final follow up visit in a month.

So we had four vet visits (one an emergency visit on a holiday), an x-ray, an ultrasound, three shots, one bag of IV fluid, and two prescription meds: one month-long oral fluid and one ten-day set of pills. Care to guess the total cost?

Tucker, on one of his beds, with a special blanket, objecting to someone lighting fireworks

Before I reveal the damage, I must point out that while most things are much less expensive in Mexico, there are some mitigating factors. Veterinary services are not in high demand here. Many people leave dogs exposed on roofs or behind fences (alone) all the time just as noisy guards. Dogs are mostly working animals; if they don’t work, they are abandoned. We have many vets, dog parks, and shelters lakeside due to the expats’ importation of the concept of “pets.”

So I wasn’t expecting a truly, ridiculously-low price. The total was $5,700 pesos, or about $300 US dollars. I rarely left a vet’s office in the States for one routine visit for less. So a happy ending, except I doubt Tucker learned anything from all this except he likes to go for rides in the car.

It’s Mueller Time!

We’ve been waiting for Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report for some two years. I avoided commenting during the media speculation; now that we have the results, it’s time to form an opinion. Predictably, political hacks on both sides have manned their positions and resumed trench warfare. Sometimes they switched which trenches they occupied (see “Mueller, straight arrow and savior of the country” vs “Mueller, partisan hack and political coward”).

There are few real surprises in the report. It is not well-written, so I don’t suggest you read it all. I have done that for you (ahh, retirement)! Here are six key points to consider:

1) The Trump campaign was a clown show, totally unprepared to function before or after the election. At one point, the media noted that the campaign had no foreign policy advisers, so they quickly pulled together a team which included George Papadopoulos and Carter Page, hardly experts. The former bragged at a bar to a foreign diplomat the Russians were going to help Trump, the latter continued to exaggerate his access for personal gain even after he was fired! The report also relates the story of Putin calling together Russian business oligarchs with the mission to find someone who can establish contact with Trump’s transition team (hardly the action of a case officer running his agent!). Oh, and Mueller explains that Don Jr. was probably not savvy enough to know that accepting “oppo” research from a Russian might be illegal!

2) President Trump had no idea how to govern. He asked his Intelligence leaders to stop the Mueller investigation (they don’t do such investigations). Trump is quoted by his staff as saying he thought firing Flynn, or Comey, or even Mueller would stop it. The President and several senior officials thought they could lie anytime, about anything, without consequence. Oftentimes the lies were inconsequential, unnecessary,and easily detected, yet they continued.

3) Believe it or not, Mueller got the most ethically-challenged targets, even if none of it had anything to do with conspiring with the Russians. Paul Manafort was a grifter in it for the money: Mueller actually quotes Manafort warning others about dealing with the Russians! Michael Flynn talks to the Russian Ambassador, lies about it to the FBI, oh and forgot to register as a foreign agent for Turkey (he a former senior intelligence officer!). Don’t get too excited about the investigation’s thirty-seven indictments, because most of Mueller’s indictees (twenty-eight) will escape justice: they are Russians indicted for hacking, and will probably never see the inside of a US courtroom, let alone jail.

4) Mueller’s report clearly demonstrates the importance of professional civil servants, both civil service and political appointees. They are the people, like White House Counsel Donald McGahn, Deputy National Security Adviser KT Mcfarland, and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who refused to enact the President’s whims. Without them, President Trump would have committed obstruction of justice or worse.

5) If you asked most people what the Special Counsel’s investigation was all about, they would say “whether Trump colluded with Russia.” Hours of speculation on cable channels connected every dot. The NY Times and Washington Post did major stories with elaborate charts of all the relationships. The Steele dossier detailed all the dirt. Mueller had all that and a crew of trained FBI agents, and over two years he found: nothing. Setting aside the legal-technical argument over collusion vs. conspiracy, Mueller didn’t find any. He even noted that some in the campaign did welcome Russian support, but they couldn’t figure out how to make it happen (see point one, above).

6) Presidential obstruction of justice is difficult to prove, absent intent. The President has many authorities and when using those authorities, it is hard to say he is obstructing justice unless he leaves a clear piece of evidence to that effect. President Trump publicly said all kids of outrageous things (which are admissible) but these were all ambiguous and Mueller found no smoking gun on intent. He did uncover a vast body of evidence.

6) Mueller admitted he was never going to indict the President, based on current Justice Department policy. However, he made a great point that the Congress can enact a change that certain laws (for example, obstruction of justice) do apply to the President, which would override the Justice Department policy for future cases. This is a reasonable recommendation, and should receive bipartisan support. Let’s learn from our current predicament.

The bottom line: there was Russian interference, but no Russian conspiracy. The President is an ego-maniac (shocking, that) who was willing to do anything–including obstruct justice–to end the investigation which he deemed baseless. FBI counterintelligence agents surveilled associates of a Presidential candidate during a campaign. There better be some hot-stuff intel implicating those associates or the first step in all this was a serious failure of judgment. A former UK intel officer (Christopher Steele) accessed Russian sources to create and share a dossier to affect the election (his stated intent in a defamation deposition in the UK): anybody ok with that?

Lost in all the posturing is the Mueller report’s confirmation of the extensive Russian effort to influence the 2016 election, and the late and ineffectual response by the Obama administration. Their explanation to date is that the administration felt anything they did would seem to be political in advance of the election, but that explanation is undermined by their admission that they expected Secretary Clinton to win. That is, they failed to act forcefully because they thought their actions would undermine the legitimacy of a Clinton presidency. Reread that sentence and just think about it for a moment. It was more important to appear impartial than to dissuade or deter the Russians…after all, Clinton was going to win. I wonder if they would have felt the same way if they knew candidate Trump was going to win?

Where do we go from here? The House of Representatives has more than enough evidence to begin impeachment proceedings. I agree with Speaker Pelosi that they probably shouldn’t, since there is no chance the Senate will convict. Much as prosecutors sometimes decide against bringing a case to trial because they feel the judge or jury will never convict, impeachment should be reserved for the most extreme cases; President Trump may be extreme in his behavior, but this case is not. As the wise bumper sticker said, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.”

I though President Clinton should have resigned rather than lying to a grand jury, which would have avoided his eventual impeachment. I think President Trump should resign, as he clearly does not know what he is doing. The fact he has some good ideas or nominees does not outweigh his overall incompetence.

Investigations by the federal Southern District of New York and State-level agencies can and should continue: justice must be done for any pre-election crimes committed. That justice should wait until the Trump presidency is over. In so doing, we must be careful what precedents we set. Actions taken to “get Trump” will set new standards for opposing future Presidents, whether we think they should or not. Can you imagine what a Republican-led Senate or House would investigate under “President” Biden (just google “Hunter Biden Ukraine” to get an idea)?

Do I think President Trump should remain in office? No, I thought he should have resigned when it became obvious he did not know how to govern. It seems clear his campaign was a stunt which he has been unable to develop into a meaningful administration. Do I think “The Resistance” should pack up and go home? Yes, they pursued a proven falsehood (Russia collusion) and they are discredited. It is fine and good to oppose the President’s policies and his objectionable tweets and blatant falsehoods. But he remains legitimate as President, even though he should have resigned.

There are serious issues like entitlement reform, the opioid crisis, immigration policy, and infrastructure investment that need to be addressed, rather than another obstruction investigation or impeachment proceedings. It is well past time to return to more normal politics, awaiting the next election cycle in just another 550-some days!

Passion

As I have noted before, we have a full-scale Passion Play here in Ajijic, as in many small Mexican pueblos. There is always a Palm Sunday procession with Jesus and the disciples welcomed, then non-stop action Maundy Thursday (Last Supper, Arrest at Gethsemane) Good Friday (Trial before Pilate, Herod’s palace, Via Dolorosa, Crucifixion, and laying Jesus in the Tomb. Saturday builds up to the midnight vigil of Easter, with Jesus rising and the fiesta beginning.

Given temperatures in the 90’s and a hot tropical sun, we decided to attend parts of the play each year, and this year, we made it to the crucifixion. Actually, we planned to attend the crucifixion last year, but somehow we missed it. We arrived around 3:00 pm, the time associated with Jesus’ death and everybody was gone! Seems that the crucifixion ends at 2:15 pm in Mexico…who knew?

This year, we headed up the hill to “Golgotha” around 1:15. There was a small crowd milling under the intense sun. Sure enough, around 1:40 I could see a larger group coming up the hill.

Notice the green shirts with a rope…crowd control

The many re-enactors played their roles as the three crosses were put in place.

Roman soldiers in full uniform along with Temple guards

A narrator set the scene in both Spanish and English, then the crosses went up and the thieves, soldiers, members of the Sanhedrin, and of course Jesus did their parts.

The crowd was silent throughout. The actors, all locals, take great pride in their roles, and you can see they spend a lot of time and effort on the pageantry.

We’ve seen the arrest, the trial before Pilate, Herod’s Palace, and now the crucifixion. Maybe next year we’ll stay up late for the resurrection (and the after-party)!

Who do you say that I Am?

The facts of His life are little in dispute. He was born under the reign of Augustus Caesar, and died under Tiberias, about 33 years later. He lived under the Roman occupation of Judea, within the political power of the Herodian dynasty, along the shores of the Sea of Galilee and around Jerusalem. He was an itinerant preacher/teacher who attracted and repulsed large groups, challenged the existing authorities (both religious and secular), and wound up crucified around the annual Passover celebration.

That we know this much about Him is startling: why would anyone care to notice or remember such a life? Why is He different? Why did eyewitnesses bother to record the events of His life, and historians and commentators note His passing? His claim to be the Jewish Messiah was hardly unique: as Tim Rice memorably put it “You Jews produce Messiahs by the sackful!” They came, they went, and their movements went with them.

Certainly not because of His religion. He practiced Judaism, an ethnically-based faith which rarely attracted converts, even if its precepts appeared laudable: circumcision for adult male converts is hardly an attractive selling point! Rome detested the Jews for their obstinant religious beliefs, even if they valued them for their commercial activities. No, this was not the reason for His prominence.

Two details of His life did court controversy: His birth and, ummm, re-birth. Some label the story of his Nazorean parents’ trip to Bethlehem a post-facto addition. Jews of his day circulated the story He was the product of the rape of His mother by a Roman soldier, which only seems to confirm the lingering issue: He was rarely referred to as “bar Yossef” (son of Joseph), so who really was His Father? And there’s that troublingly empty tomb. If that was a lie, it would have been easy for the authorities to counter. It was real, so the official line was “His disciples stole the body.”

Each age seeks to determine who He is, and then “discovers” He is…made in their image and likeness! Crusaders envisioned Him as a Warrior-King. The American Founding Fathers, mostly Deists, saw Him as a wise sage; Jefferson went so far as to correct the Bible by deciding which quotes were really His. Nineteenth century German historicists deconstructed stories about Him until He was a peaceful, romantic scholar, distrusting of organized religion…just like them. Baby boomers are quite familiar with His “surfer” personae (circa Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar): laid-back, groovy, not-at-all-uptight. Some militant fundamentalists see him, well, differently.

Hippie,
Cool dude, or
armed & riding a raptor

All, like the the fable of the blind men and the elephant, grasp a piece of the truth, but not the whole Truth.

Although very popular, His “sage” personae is easily debunked. His sayings are a mass of contradictions, which any debater could attack (‘peace be with you’ vs ‘I come not to bring peace, but the sword’, for example). He summed up all the teaching as a command to “love one another,” but then said “if you love me, you will keep all my commandments.” His actions were even more confusing. The same Man who counseled turning the other cheek took a whip to the money-changers in the Temple. He said ‘not a part of the letter of the law would pass way’ but replaced whole sections of it with ‘nothing that comes from outside a man renders him unclean’ and acted accordingly. Faced with an adulteress, He never excused the sin; He called it what it was, then extended mercy, which was only God’s to give. He called peacemakers “blessed,” but praised a centurion for his faith: the extremity of this act is lost on us today, but put in the context of occupied Judea, it was like a concentration camp prisoner praising a guard!

If He cannot be passed off as one of many sages, there are no easy compromises about Him. On more than one occasion He publicly claimed to be the Messiah, the Son of the living God: blasphemy to the Jews, treason to the Romans. This was madness or Truth. He died, never recanting the claim, even when a simple “I was misunderstood” would have spared Him.

Even today, You can’t ignore Him. Some Nones want to develop their own version of Him, complete with all-the-things-He-never-said-anything about, as if you could sanitize Him into a non-judgmental, peaceful, person of color: Jefferson smirks! No, even the way we count years (starting with BC and AD)* underlies His importance, not to mention His teaching is critical to the development of Western Civilization.

Ultimately, whether you are a believer, non-believer, spiritual-but-not-religious, or none, you still must answer “who do you say that I Am?”

Is He:

(1) a charlatan who pulled off the greatest hoax in the history of the world,

(2) a fool, manipulated into claims beyond His understanding, or

(2) the Almighty, the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Choose carefully, and Felices Pascuas!

*I am amused that archaeologists and others seek to rebrand our measure of the years as BCE (Before the Common Era) and CE (Common Era). Note that the counting system still holds to His birth (more or less). I tell my friends we should embrace the change: just refer to it as Before the Christian Era and Christian Era. Problem solved.

Death & Taxes

It is true that Benjamin Franklin wrote about the two certainties in life (death and taxes), but he probably borrowed the phrase from Christopher Bullock, who wrote n 1716 “Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but Death and Taxes.” While the former is true for all, the latter is particularly true for an American expat.

The US of A is one of a handful of countries which tax your income regardless where you live; others are North Korea, Libya, Eritrea…how many expats do they have? Nearly all Americans face an annual deadline of April 15th, while expats can receive an automatic two month extension. But the taxes (and the interest, and the penalties) all must still be paid.

If you’re earning income from a foreign source as an expat, there is a sizable exclusion, and you can (depending on reciprocity with the country where you live) get credit for foreign taxes paid on your US tax return. If you have a foreign bank or investment account, there is the requirement to notify the Treasury of that account if it (or any combination of assets) exceeds $10,000 USD at any time. That is colloquially called FBAR, an acronym referring to the law which sought to eliminate offshore banking as a means of hiding income. Oh, and if you receive interest on such instruments, there is (of course) another law (FATCA) which the IRS uses to ensure foreign banks report back to them on you!

All this before even considering state taxes. Many expats don’t realize it, but even if you leave to be an expat and never plan to–or just never do–return, you have a US domicile for tax purposes. This is the place you would intend to return IF you ever did: it can be where you left from, where you established residence before you left, where you vote, etc. Your domicile determines whether you owe any state taxes (remember, your federal taxes are a given).

It is true that if you have no property in the US, no connections to same (voting registration, driver’s license), no taxable income, no intent to return, and no real goods that require a will for probate, you may not need to worry about your tax domicile. Yet I know some expats who do have these things, yet think they will somehow escape. Remember, death & taxes!

State governments watch for citizens who receive income in their state but don’t file a return, or who once filed a return and then years later their heirs try to probate a will. Some states will try to claim back taxes and penalties, so be wary.

It is true that some expats fall under the radar and simply go along, not paying taxes, not filing forms, and never get caught. But like so many things, expat taxes are a complicated subject, and one you ignore at your peril. By the way, tax deadline is tomorrow!