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Eurobservations

Random musings from our six-week excursion, starting in Amsterdam, through Milan and Puglia, down to Sicily and back up to Vicenza:

I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but it still amazes me that casual American culture has so overtaken Europe. Even baseball caps are no longer a dead giveaway of American tourists. I can’t tell you how many middle-aged (aka “adult”) men I saw wearing t-shirts with vulgar English-language slogans (e.g., “if you can read this, f*ck you!”) who were clearly locals. Athletic shoes (I am old enough to have typed tennis shoes before correcting myself) for all, athleisure apparel wear for women, be-sloganned t-shirts for men (although still no shorts, gracias a Dios!). Yes, Europeans still dress well for work or to go out at night (i.e., when they want to be dressy), but otherwise they look as slovenly as any middle-American mall cohort. *sigh*
Vaping was a constant wherever we went: far too many people in Europe have not gotten the message it’s as bad as smoking. There was a lot of toking in Amsterdam, a lot of regular smoking the farther we went south in Italy. Restaurants and businesses upheld all the correct laws about non-smoking, but often it was easy to be surrounded by a cloud of smoke out and about.
Why has Europe perfected healthy, delicious snacks and quick meals, and the US hasn’t? We got bagged cornetti (fruit-filled rolls) on the trains in Europe, and they tasted fresh and good, even after a few days. You could buy snacks from an automat machine and they tasted good. Coffee vending machines? Excellent! Even the prepared meals/snacks in the supermarket were well-done, easy to prepare, and healthy. Contrast that with America: pizza rolls (motto: “no animals or vegetables were harmed in the manufacture of this product”), desiccated 7-11 hot dogs, stale Twinkies from a vending machine last inspected in 2011. Didn’t we invent fast food? And why does US fast food have unpronounceable ingredients? It’s enough to make one believe in the conspiracy theories!
Evolution has not caught up with the Italian people in light of the cell phone. Watching a young Italian woman hold a phone video conversation on a train was worth the price of admission. One hand cradling the device, the other gesturing wildly. Then a sudden pause, as she shifted the phone to the other hand, and resumed gesturing with the first. And so on, back-n-forth. Until they master hands-free technology in Europe, the Italians are throttled.
Permissive parenting is a drag. I like to be around kids; I really enjoy playing games with my grandkids. But I am used to, and expect, parents to teach children their place in society. I had a chance to book a “quiet car” on TrenItalia and thought “why?” Well I learned why, because the two Italian families in our car let their children play tag, run, and scream around the car for an hour. Likewise, our attempt to sit in a cafe near Bari and enjoy the outdoor setting was ever-so-slightly disturbed by two Italian grandparents who seemed to really enjoy their grandson chasing pigeons in the park. Shrieking at the top of his lungs. For half-an-hour straight. So loud the three local men listening to the live feed of the calcio (soccer) match couldn’t hear the broadcast. Ay-ay-ay!
The Dutch like fried food. . . a lot. I learned that Dutch expats miss most bitterballen: fried, battered meatballs. They also crave raw herring sandwiches. I thought this was because of all the coffee shops and MJ use, but it long predates that. I never want to hear anybody criticize pizza rolls again.
Italian cuisine, in its many forms, is amazing. But is it okay to admit that while every place in Italy claims to be unique and special in its pasta/cheese/tomatoes/ragu/etc., that in the end, the similarities are far greater than the differences? It’s all good; it’s often great. But I’m sorry, it is all not that different. And it is still hard to find any other cuisine in Italy, except in larger cities.
If you are going to travel by train in Europe at all, make sure and google some combination of the name of the country you will be in, the month, and the words “train strike.” They are so regular that they actually frequently announce them. Few things would be worse than finding that the train service to your airport is disrupted on the day you’re leaving.
Before we left I was cleaning out my clothes closet and decided it was finally time to throw out my twenty-year-old cargo pants. Damn if they’re not back in fashion, all over Europe. I could have been vintage! Ditto for mom jeans, but I don’t have any.
My suspicion that a sport coat was all it took to pass as “not an American tourist” still has a perfect record. Since I bought a good, lightweight, navy blue sport coat and started wearing it–especially on travel days–I have never had anyone walk up to me and start speaking in English. Or ask where in America I was from. The sport coat is not exactly a style setter, but it is enough to look like a serious adult (even me!), it’s comfortable (if you research and buy the right product), and it holds up even to machine washing. I do need to learn the phrase “Sorry, I don’t speak ______” because I do get asked for directions, time, weather, etc.
If you really want to score some points travelling, learn a little about the national politics where you are headed and ask a local (e.g., a garrulous taxi driver) what they think of a party, a candidate, or an issue. Most Europeans I met are amazed to find an American who knows a little about their national politics, and they will willingly vent on the subject. It’s fun, educational, and passes the time.
The Chinese tourist wave, which washed over Europe just before Covid, has still not resurfaced. Which is not to say places aren’t crowded with tourists, just not large Chinese tour groups.

Night trains in Europe?

Overnight train travel is returning to Europe after a few decade hiatus. Should you try it? Bottom Line Up Front from the late Amy Winehouse:

Way back in the Cold War, I got a few chances to take the train system in western Europe, and it was a great experience: inexpensive, efficient, timely (especially when run by Germans). A few times I got to take night trains, in second-class cars where the opposing seats pulled out and together to form one large bed for the four-to-six riders. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it worked. I even got one opportunity to take an overnighter which crossed from (then) Czechoslovakia through East Germany into West Germany. I had a sleeper berth on that one, with the added service of a East German Border Polizei shining a night-stick sized flashlight in my face at zero dark thirty.

I enjoyed the trains, especially the night trains; there is something about the gentle rocking motion, the fun of waking up at your destination, the freedom to walk around and enjoy the scenery, or go eat in a cafe car that just appealed to me.

The end of the Cold War and the gradual elimination of borders and customs among European countries should have been a golden age for trains. But as it happened, governments looked at the cost of maintaining national rail systems and they blinked. Deregulation allowed cut rate air carries like RyanAir to offer low-cost travel in direct competition. And the big national railways were directed to compete with each other, rather than cooperate. Long-range overnight train travel was among the casualties.

Recently, there has been a surge of interest in bringing back overnight trains. Some countries are limiting middle distance flights for ecological reasons. The rail system has solid infrastructure and most of the waste or redundancy has been wrung out of the system. So several companies or national lines are re-introducing overnighter trains.

When planning our current trip, I stumbled across the website “The Man in Seat 61” (link here) and it gave detailed instructions for almost any European rail adventure. Sure enough, there were such instructions to get from Amsterdam, where our cruise ended, to southern Italy, where our expat investigation began. We signed up for the OBB Nightjet train, run by Austria, which took us from Amsterdam Centraal to Zurich Hauptbanhof. There we caught another famous line across the Alps to Milan for a day stop. Then back to a day trip on a Frecciarossa high-speed (300 kph) train all the way to Bari. After a tour in Sicily, we signed up for a Trenitalia sleeper train which not only took us from Palermo, Sicily, to Rome, it also is the only train which boards a ferry (to cross the Messina Strait).

Sleeper car on the ferry, headed across the Strait of Messina

I was most looking forward to the Nightjet experience, but it didn’t live up to my expectations. First, it leaves at almost nine pm, which means you’ll be spending some quality time in the train station with all your luggage. When time came to board, the car concierge couldn’t find the correct key to unlock the inner security door, leaving a pile of customers stuck halfway into the train. This was an augur of things to come. She was very good at telling us what she couldn’t do, but less helpful otherwise. She did explain that the “call button” worked (i.e., it rang in her work area) but she would rarely be there so don’t bother. Hmmmmm.

One of four beds shown: one more folds down on the left, and there are two up top across from each other

We booked a two person sleeper, which was private and cozy. There was an adequate air system which seemed to provide the warm/cool air desired, good storage space, and a hidden wash basin. The bed was comfy enough, although I did flag down the concierge and have her open the middle row bed (each cabin has four beds, three on one side and one on the other) since the rounded-off top of the cabin made my head and feet touch the opposing walls. We filled out a nice little card (in four languages) with a selection of six breakfast items like coffee, brötchen (fresh German rolls) cheese and various meats.

The ride itself was uneventful: a few stops, no interruptions, and very sleep-able. Some of the staff took to holding a conversation outside our cabin, but they moved on before it turned into a problem. Around seven in the morning, the concierge was due to deliver our breakfast order. By seven-thirty, I was getting concerned, since we were due to arrive before eight-thirty. She knocked on the cabin door to announce she had only some yogurt, coffee, and orange juice, and would we like that? You take what you can get, so we agreed. But what was the purpose of the elaborate order the night before? Finally, the train arrived on time in Zurich.

The Trenitalia night train boarded in Palermo just before seven in the evening, but it had no cafe car, so we were warned to bring a meal along if we wanted one. The cabin was smaller than the Nightjet one. Both were clearly refurbished stock from the 1970s/80s. Again, possibly four beds, good storage (although much of it is overhead, tough to use for a large suitcase), and a hidden sink. The cabin steward surprised us with some travel snacks, bottled water, and I was even able to buy a small bottle of wine.

The cabin was a little stuffy, so we turned on the air conditioning. It worked well for about ninety-minutes, then suddenly switched to heat. The cabin quickly turned into a sauna, so I jumped out to find the steward. I flagged him down, and explained what the problem was; he was probably the least-English-fluent person we met on the entire trip. But he nodded, put his hand on the air vent (warm), checked the control (set to coldest), shook his head, then . . . opened the window. That was it. He couldn’t turn the heat off, but he could open the window. Which sounds ok, except the train was travelling at more than one-hundred miles per hour. At that speed, the sound is deafening, worse still when you pass another train going in the opposite direction.

Sample test question: Pat leaves Palermo going east at 100 mph. His air conditioning stops working in ninety minutes. Assuming otherwise normal conditions, how long does it take for Pat to fall asleep?

A) Instantly, but he wakes every few seconds due to the noise.

B) thirty minutes, but the dripping sweat wakes him up.

C) two hours, then he dreams of murdering the cabin steward.

D) All of the above.
From the revised SAT

Granted, we made it from Amsterdam to Zurich, and Palermo to Rome, in one piece. And the cost was less than separate airline tickets and a hotel room. But the experience was decidedly bargain, but not at cut-rate prices. Maybe it will take a little longer for the night train experience to peak.

Our trips in business or first class aboard Trenitalia were better: faster, cleaner, more comfortable, better food, wifi, and customer service. If you book far enough in advance, they can be very economical, but that is an art form in itself, and I recommend the Seat 61 website for all the key tips.

So for the time being, only consider a sleeper train if it has a new cabin. Stick to day trips on the high speed lines, and leave the sleeping to hotels. Maybe someday the sleeper will return!

Sicily

Word association time: what word comes to mind when someone says Sicily? Probably mafia or Godfather, first. Maybe cannoli, but that could be linked to the famous “Leave the gun, take the cannoli” line from the movie, too. Until fairly recently, it was fair to connect the largest island in the Mediterranean Sea with organized crime. Mafia control, portrayed in the Godfather movie trilogy, got so bad in the 1990s that they literally blew up several judges who had the audacity to question their hold. But la Cosa Nostra (as they are known) overplayed their hand, and the bombing led to a sustained campaign to break them down. Successive Italian governments tracked them down, and even Pope Francis joined in, excommunicating them in 2014. After thirty years, organized crime has returned to the shadows, unable to flex its muscles in the daylight.

But Sicily remains a poor, underdeveloped place with an abundance of history and culture. Whether the former attributes outweigh the latter is a matter of personal opinion.

We started our tour in Palermo, the island’s one-time capital and largest city. Palermo was a royal city, and a must-see part of the Grand Tour for European nobility in the eighteenth century. It has a proud heritage that mixes Phoenician, Roman, Greek, Norman, Arab, and Spanish influences. But today these influences largely reside in monuments and meals, and the main feel of the city is a blue-collar, slightly grimy vibe. I’d call it Naples without the cachet.

The other large city is Catania, on the east coast, literally in the shadow of Mount Etna. It has some of the same challenges, but seems a little more successful, having more a university town vibe than Palermo. The volcano is a must-see tourist stop, so that’s one advantage; it also accounts for unique soil and terroir, benefiting wines, cheeses, vegetables and the like.

One small lava field on Etna, which dominates the eastern shore

Getting around Sicily is a challenge. First, it’s large. Second, it is mountainous. It does have a bus, train, and car routes, but all of it runs on a sinuous network that could make a Formula One driver queasy. Palermo and Catania have decent airports, the latter subject to Mount Etna’s whims. So you can spend a lot of time getting from one site to another, or even around a town.

Monks built a earthen wall to protect against the 1669 Etna eruption. Now they have a two-tiered campus

The small towns in Sicily are inviting, once you can get to them. There life operates on a different level. They benefit from the fertile volcanic soil and the warm and (usually) moist climate, but mostly from the history. On the island, you can find some of the best Greek temples, Roman villas, baroque churches, and even Punic sites.

Maybe you like history?

How about scenery?

Of course there’s always the food:

Sicilian street food lunch at Florio winery

Sicily? Worth a visit. Given the geography, I suggest a tour, especially one themed to what you like: history? Food? Wine? Your ethnic background? One challenge is that Sicily is already warm in the traditional “shoulder” season, so the crowds start building earlier in the Spring than elsewhere in Europe. As to our sweepstakes for another expat site, this visit confirmed it is off our list. While it is charming and alluring, it is too hard to get to and too hard to get around. If I was an Italian-American looking to rediscover my Sicilian roots, it might be a different story.

Hands down, still the best photo of the trip!

Bari, Puglia

I know, you’re thinking, “Bari? Why are you in Bari? Wait, where is Bari?” Answering the last question first, Bari is a port city on the Adriatic coast of Italy, across from Albania, and it’s the capital of the Italian region of Puglia, often referred to in English as Apulia. But to make it easy, Puglia is the heel of the Italian “boot.”

“Why” merits a longer answer. This part of our trip is to experience a taste of expat life in southern Italy. Like we did in Spain’s Andalucia in January, we’re visiting this expat hot-spot to see how it “feels” to us. No agenda, no list of must-see/do’s, just six nights in Bari Vechia (old town). Southern Italy has become something of a magnet for American expats, especially those with Italian roots. The region has great weather, great food (‘natch), and decent value for cost of living, including housing.

We arrived on a Wednesday evening, expecting a quiet, work-night scene for a regional capital of 300,000+. So we were surprised by large crowds, closed streets, and a very festive atmosphere. When I asked the taxi driver if this was a normal sight for a late Spring weekday, he said, “no, it’s the festival for San Nicolas.”

Basilica of San Nicolas (very Norman or Romanesque!)

Now I knew Bari had an affinity for Saint Nick (San Nicolas de Bari is one of his official titles), and I knew all about Saint Nick in his Santa Claus personna, I even knew he originally was Bishop of Myra, in present-day Turkiye. But his feast day is December 6th, not May 9th. What gives? Seems we stumbled into an interesting historical phenomenon which goes back over 900 years, involving Muslims, Catholics, Orthodox, Turks, Byzantines, Venetians, relics, miracles, and Vladimir Putin. Seriously.

The Saint, back from his boat trip and walk around town

Nicolas was a famous Bishop in Myra, martyred during the Diocletian persecution around 343 Christian Era (CE). He was a Greek living in the Roman Empire, known for his piety and many miracles. Although there are no definitive accounts of his life, his cult emerged after his death. He is beloved by both the Orthodox and Catholic Rites of Christianity, becoming the basis for Santa Claus in the latter, while there are more churches dedicated to him in Moscow than any other Orthodox saint. He is the patron saint of sailors, prostitutes, repentant thieves, brewers, pawn-brokers, and students, groups which are certainly not mutually exclusive.

The saint’s remains resting place, and the devotion they attract

In 1054 CE the Church split into competing Catholic and Orthodox branches in the Great Schism, and in 1087 the Seljuk Turks overran the Bishopric of Myra, capturing the tomb of Saint Nick. A group of merchants and sailors in Bari, Italy, decided to raid and return (most of, Venetians later grabbed the rest) the saint’s remains to Christian hands. They brought them back to Bari on May 9th, establishing a “feast of the translation” (i.e., transportation, which sounds so much better than “theft”) at a new church in Bari. We had wandered into the middle of that feast.

And what a feast. Dignitaries from East and West attend, this year the biggest being the Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem. The statue of San Nicolas is collected up by the faithful and processed down to the docks, where sailors take it out for a night at sea. The next day, they re-enact the “translation” and the faithful gather to welcome their beloved saint home. The statue has a “skirt” attached to it (covering up the men carrying it) so it looks like it “walks” up from the port to the basilica. It moves to a spot on a promenade where it stays while masses of Thanksgiving are held in the Basilica Catholic Church upstairs and the Orthodox Crypt Church below, where the saint’s remains, well, remain. During the final mass, a priest crawls under the altar to the tomb containing the remains, unlocks it, and draws out: water. Although the box containing the bones is sealed, some form of liquid, called manna by the faithful, has been accumulating since the saint died. Of course this manna has miraculous properties and is diluted and widely shared among the believers.

One of the clothes used to collect the manna

What’s really a miracle to me is the way Catholic and Orthodox get along so well during all this, whereas in Jerusalem and elsewhere they are usually at each other’s ecclesiastical throats. For example, even Putin was allowed to make a pilgrimage to Bari in 2007! So Bari is full of Orthodox and Catholic faithful.

The view from our balcony: three eras of church wall

Bari Vecchia, where we stayed, is a typical medieval maze of tiny streets, repurposed castles, palaces and churches, with a blossoming harbor and new city spreading out landward from the small peninsula. The entire area is easily walkable: mostly flat, and our evening passeggiata often went completely around the seafront. There are oodles of cafes serving up espresso, osterias for seafood, pizzerias for focaccia barese. The locals are especially proud of their local pasta, called orecchiette or little ears. Women still set up tables in the narrow streets and make the pasta fresh while you watch. We were impressed with the local Primitivo and Negroamare red varietal wines. The pasta and focaccia were excellent; we have yet to find pulpo (octopus) which rivals what we find in Mexico, but the search goes on!

In addition to all that Saint Nick history, Bari has a surfeit of other historical regimes. Its earliest traces are Phoenician and Greek, then Roman, Byzantine, Norman, and finally Spanish, with each group leaving a mark architecturally. Under the Aragonese Queen Isabella, Bari passed to her daughter Bona Sforza as Duchess. She later married and outlived King Sigismund the Old of Poland, holding both titles (Queen of Poland and Duchess of Bari, among others) at the same time. So much for the patriarchy.

We took two day trips from Bari: thirty minutes south (on the local train) to Polignano a Mare, and forty minutes north to Trani. We wanted to see what smaller, less touristy towns in the area were like. Polignano is a small town famous for its cliffs, and Red Bull even sponsors a cliff diving event there every year. Trani has a bustling port and a fantastic cathedral.

Seaside Cathedral of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

To be honest, the entire coast of Puglia is filled with small-to-medium sized towns that are very similar. Each has a small beach or port area, an old city, then a newer development (usually around the main train station) which consists of apartment blocks. Weekend or Summer vacation apartments for Italians stretch out from there. I would be hard-pressed to tell you which to select to visit; all have something to offer, but there isn’t a lot to distinguish between them in my opinion.

Puglia has been a tourist destination for Italians–looking for a quiet, inexpensive beach/shore trip–for a long time. It delivers on that promise, and remains less expensive, less pretentious (I’m looking at you, Amalfi coast), but still pleasant. Whether it has what it takes to be right as an expat haven for us? That’s a question still pending!

I only had to pay the tour guide five Euros to concoct a story requiring everyone to kiss under this arch to ensure a happy marriage.

Un momento milanese

I wish I could give you a full (not fulsome) review of the wonderful northern Italian city of Milano, aka Milan. But we were only there less than twenty-four hours, so a limited review is all I can provide. Suffice it to say the city deserves a much longer investigation, and since it is an international air hub, look to visit it to begin or end your next European journey.

After Amsterdam, we booked an overnight train trip on Austria’s OBB Nightjet which took us in early evening from Amsterdam Centraal to a morning arrival in Zurich. There we caught a connection to Milan on a quite picturesque route over, through and under the Alps. More on those train trips will be forthcoming later on our trip.

We arrived in Milano Centrale in the mid afternoon and checked in at the Hotel Bristol immediately next door to the station. The Bristol is a throwback to classy European hotel style with well-decorated rooms, eclectic art, and a breakfast buffet to die for. We explained to the concierge that we were in town for just one meal, right now, which unfortunately falls between the Italian lunch and dinner hours. He directed us to an osteria, Mama Rossa’s, a few blocks away. It was fantastic, and the waiter couldn’t help himself but to give give us an amuse bouche, extra bread, extra wine, and a lesson in Puglian cuisine, once he learned that’s where we were headed next.

Just looking at this again makes my mouth water

We waddled/staggered (did I mention the free apperitivo? The gratis limoncello?) out of Mama’s and jumped on the metro down to the Duomo: Milan’s majestic cathedral. The Duomo is quite literally a site to behold. Every corner, every window, every spire and doorway is covered with frescoes, carving, and religious symbolism. If you go–and you should–take a guided tour or get an audio guide and take your time. But we weren’t there for the tour. We just wanted to visit and pray.

I have mentioned previously that many European churches, basilicas, and cathedrals have tourist charges, but also permit “the faithful” to visit free of charge. The cost is just decorum and limited or no photography. We found the religious entrance and asked if we could go in and pray. The female guard took a look at me, wearing a small back pack and speaking English, and my wife, with a real camera around her neck. She said, “Not now. You should wait for the next Mass.” “Ok,” we replied, “when is it?” “Five-thirty.” “Great,” we said and walked around to a place where we could sit for thirty minutes and wait.

I watched as the guard let one group of locals (no handbags, no back packs, no cameras, speaking Italian) after another through to pray. I could tell she was watching me, watching her. She finally decided we must be legitimate, and she waved us over at five-fifteen. We found our way around to a small chapel directly behind the main altar, where we got the opportunity to attend a full Mass in Italian on a Tuesday evening. We made a point of thanking the guard on the way out!

May the Lord forgive me for a quick shot from behind the main altar!

Exhausted from our “relaxing” overnight train adventure, with bellies full of gnocchi, spinach, and meatballs and livers reeling from wine and spirits, we called it a night, knowing we were on the road again the next morning to Puglia.

This was just a hit-n-run visit; we knew that going in. Milan has so much art, fashion, culture and industry it demands your time. Still, it was a special meal, a special hotel, and a special Mass: of these great visits are made!

Amsterdam

Since our transatlantic cruise deposited us in Amsterdam, we decided to take an extra day and see what this unique and interesting city has to offer. No, not in the way of the red light district, nor in the coffee houses. Both of these quintessential “Amsterdam” things are embarrassing to the locals. They are trying to disperse the brothels, and make tourist use of cannabis more difficult if not illegal. Signs were everywhere prohibiting public joint smoking, but we could barely walk along the canals without choking on the noxious weed. And why would anyone want to take pictures of women who find so-called sex work a career choice?

If you do word association with “Amsterdam” you’ll get a lot of those two social problems (prostitution and marijuana), but what you should get is history, art, architecture, and even food. Which is what we found. Amsterdam is a very walkable city, and has great/affordable public transportation in metros, trains, busses and trams. We only touched the surface of its artistic riches, visiting the Rijksmuseum to see its holdings of Van Gogh, Rembrandt, and Vermeer. Likewise, the Dutch Maritime Museum has a full complement from the days of the Dutch East India Company, when ships like this brought the wealth of the world home to the bustling ports.

We even found a fabulous little museum called “Ons’ Lieve Heer op Solder” or “Our Lord in the Attic.” Seems after the Dutch separated from the Spanish Catholic Hapsburgs, they instituted an unusual form of religious toleration: every person was free to believe in whatever religion they wished in private, but only Dutch Calvinist churches were permitted public worship. All other religious spaces were confiscated and prohibited. This led to the creation of secret “house churches,” invisible from the street, which the authorities tolerated. One such secret church still exists as a museum!

Dutch food is a combination of hearty northern European fare (potatoes, meat and vegetables in pies and rolls), seafood, and influences from the former colonial territories, especially Indonesia. For example, you can get a tasty peanut satay sauce on just about anything the Dutch serve: I got it on a meatball and pickle sandwich! They also love their croquettes, basically ground up whatever in batter and fried.

The Dutch seem to be struggling with their reputation for being tolerant, well-meaning folk. Take their love of bike riding. It works well for them in a place like Amsterdam, it’s efficient, it’s ecological, it’s healthy. Just don’t get in their way. Think about that for a second. When people drive that way in the US, we call their rudeness out. We watched mobs of Dutch cyclists zooming everywhere, among crowds, cars, and clueless tourists, but somehow this was all ok because, well, why? Rude is rude, even on two wheels.

Likewise, we had to literally shove people out of the way to get on and off the tram, which loads from one set of doors and unloads from another. This system should work well, but on more than once occasion we saw locals just enter the trams and block the door, even after a polite English “excuse me.” And yes, everyone speaks English there.

Tack on the aforementioned religious “toleration,” and the way public drinking and smoking is winked at. Dutch officials spend a lot of time and money on public works just to get the streets cleaned up during the work week, money which might be saved with a little more prevention up front. We’re early-to-bed types, but we heard some partiers at the next breakfast table discussing how hard it was to get down the street between the drunks and the vomit . . . on a Sunday night. The government has even taken to advertising in the UK press telling Britons just to just stay home: no more stag/hen parties!

Verdict? Amsterdam is an interesting place, and a unique one. I’d say it’s worth a short visit, easily accomplished in conjunction with a river/ocean cruise or with a stay over at Schipol airport. Have I seen better art, ate better food, met friendlier people? Yes. But the city itself is so different, and the history so rich, it’s worth it even if you have to cough up some second-hand weed, step over the vomit, or get clocked by a biker.

Transatlantic

This post finds you from its origin deep amidst a crossing of the Atlantic Ocean. That itself is a wonder, even in the middle of this instantaneous and omnipresent age of communications. Why are we crossing “the big pond?” That’s a story worth telling, and more.

Only sight like this for 100+ light-years in every direction

We’ve noticed that our annual springtime pilgrimage to Europe suffered from the effects of that red-eye flight and subsequent jet lag, costing us a few days recovery every time. We tried preparing for the time change, avoiding the free alcohol, adjusting our eating, flying premium economy or even business class, but these only partially mitigated the effects. In planning the trips, I became resigned to getting a decent flight schedule and just adjusting from there. Then a neighbor mentioned he and his wife no longer flew to Europe in the Spring, they took a repositioning cruise there. I questioned adding the cost of a cruise on to the cost of visiting Europe, and he pointed out that the approximately two week cruise cost about the same as round trip business airfare.

Of course I thought he was kidding, but when I researched it, there it was in black and white. Seems every Spring, cruise lines sortie parts of their fleet from America to Europe (mostly the Mediterranean) to position the ships for summer cruising. The return trip in the Fall sets up all those Caribbean cruises in the Winter. There are some smaller fleet movements in the Pacific and to/from South America, but we were interested in the transatlantic leg.

Why are they cheaper than most cruises? First off, they involve different embark and disembark locations, on different continents, which make them more challenging for vacation planners. Second, the nature of the trip is mostly open ocean, and most vacation cruisers like port calls. Third, it’s always two weeks, in Spring and Fall, which means families really can’t afford the time commitment. So the clientele is older retirees, frequent cruisers, and people like us trying it out for transport. All of this applies to the repositioning cruises. There is also one line, Cunard, which operates the Queen Mary II and does a week+ direct cruise between New York and England throughout most of the year.

One thing I noticed immediately is that the best deals pass quickly. While most people don’t even consider transoceanic cruises, the number of those who do is growing and they are passionate about them. Such travelers snapped up the best deals. We ended up on the Celebrity Silhouette leaving Fort Lauderdale for Bermuda, the Azores, Ireland, then Amsterdam. While this is our first Celebrity cruise, we have cruised many times on other lines, and here are some lessons learned:

Use a travel agent (TA). I usually do all my booking myself, but there are so many variables to a cruise, and TAs also get volume discounts and other freebies, making them worth your while.
If you don’t see a great deal on the cruise you want, book a cheap inside cabin and watch for “sales” and “bids for upgrades.” Join CruiseCritic (.com) and register with the appropriate roll call board for your ship. There the cruise fanatics (and they are legion) will let you know everything you need to for a great cruise. Since transatlantic cruises are still rarely full, there will almost certainly be a chance to upgrade, almost always at a reduced price. The same goes for extras like drink packages, internet access, spa access, and specialty dining. Your TA and fellow cruisers on CruiseCritic will be able to help you navigate when to purchase what you want. For example, on our cruise, we got a basic internet package as part of our room, but we hesitated to upgrade to streaming internet because of the cost. Once on board, Starlink access was offered for a very reasonable rate. On the other hand, I am told that specialty restaurants are much cheaper to reserve before the cruise.
Transatlantic cruises are not for those prone to seasickness, nor for first time cruisers. Our crossing has been a rainy, cool-but-not-cold, and choppy. Everybody walks with that brush-your-left-shoulder-on-the-port-wall, brush-your-right-shoulder-on-the-inner-wall wobble. Not something you want to face if suffer seasickness, or don’t know if you do. Not to mention whether you will enjoy “at sea” days back-to-back-to-back.
Explore your ship. We found a little known quiet lounge tucked under the spa, which has proved a godsend when the weather sends all those sun-worshipers off the top deck looking for a place to park for the day. There are drink stations, small bars, game rooms, even a library, all of which might escape the eye of the incurious cruiser.
On a two week cruise, pace yourself. Last year we did ten days on a Panama Canal cruise, and felt like we almost ate ourselves to death. We had just begun intermittent fasting, which for us means eating only breakfast and lunch. But for the cruise we thought, “what the heck, let’s hit the specialty restaurants for dinner.” Bad idea. This cruise, we have kept to our routine, and it is working for us. We have received increasingly concerned voice mail messages in our room, reminding us we haven’t visited the main dining room for dinner, and “do we need help?” I guess there aren’t too many intermittent fasters on cruise ships.
Most cruise lines retain the nickel-and-dime routine, so that what you spend in the end is generally greater than what you paid up front. Virgin Cruises is an exception, and we look forward to trying them in the future. But you need to pay attention to what your room, status, and packages entitle you. Our “classic” drink packages gets us unlimited booze, but not “top shelf” liquor or some specialty drinks. We get all the special coffee drinks at the cafe, but not carbonated water, except from the tap at the bar. I know, what? There are charges for classes, specialty drinks, flights, shore excursions, you name it. So be careful, or you’ll end up doubling your costs (but not necessarily your fun).
If you recall cruises as stuffy affairs requiring dressy clothes, you’re out of date. Even the “classy night” (replacing “formal night”) is just a collared shirt and pants for men, dress or slacks & top for women. Some folks go full-up formal, but that’s no longer a requirement. Mostly they don’t want beach/gym wear in the formal dining room, but it’s ok in the many cafes, snack bars, and bars.
Cruising remains extrovert heaven, with an opportunity to sit with strangers at every meal, bar, or event, along with games (trivia, password, etc.). But the mixing fun is not mandatory. For introverts like us, there are plenty of hiding places and tables for two.
One curiosity is that ship’s time is set by the Captain, not the position on the Earth. Our Captain has moved us ahead one hour per night, getting us to the upcoming port visit time a day early, so no one is showing up confused about what time it is. The day-after-day time changes are much easier to deal with than the all at once six-hour change of a red-eye flight to Europe. Many frequent cruisers tell us they prefer the westbound Fall trip, as they gain an hour every night enabling increased night owl activity. To each their own.
Cruise lines vary in temperament: there are party lines, classy lines, lines for families, lines for retirees, although all folks are welcome on all cruises. There are also specialty cruises for wine-lovers, music fans, etc. All of which is to say do your research and find out whether the ideal transatlantic cruise you want is also a Star Wars theme cruise, especially if you’re a Trekkie.

Was it worth it? We’re almost done, and I can confirm the time changes are far less dramatic and easy to adjust to when done once every other night. The cruise entertainment has been better than I expected, but still just worth the price (i.e., already included), and the sea days can become a little monotonous. With a little more attention to pricing and deals, and an earlier start in selecting which cruise line/route, I’d say this is an attractive alternative. Slainte!

Letting the head settle on my Beamish stout

Book Report: A History of the American People

This is a 1997 work by British journalist and amateur historian Paul Johnson, who died last year. You may ask yourself, “Why read a history book that is a quarter century out of date?” I’m glad you asked. Partially, it came to my library as a gift (thanks, Catherine & John), partially because it is well written, but mostly because it is out of date. Think about it: history is the process of sorting the current and transitory from the long-lasting and important. What is good today may look less so with the lens of time: bell-bottom jeans, anyone? A history book written before 9/11, Bush v. Gore, Covid, and the Trump phenomenon is unspoiled by the need to address those issues. And the truth it seeks to find can be tested against what we as readers now know, which the author could not know many years ago.

Weighing in at more than one thousand pages, this is not your beach-reading selection. I took it with me on a long cruise (more on that soon), and I easily won the “who has the most ridiculously large-sized book to read” pool-side contest. I needed an extra towel to use as a chest lectern to read the tome. Despite its heft, Johnson’s work is well-written and easy to read. He was a self-proclaimed English leftist who gradually evolved into a conservative, and he admits to having a traditional English public (meaning private/elite) school education, which was long on English history but barely mentioned the colonies with the exception of some troubles in the late eighteenth century.

He writes with the detachment of a foreign observer, but the insight of a close family member. That he was an admirer of the American experiment is clear throughout the work, but he feels free to point out the warts and all of our history. The book highlights the tensions in the American experiment: the emphasis on individual liberty and the acceptance of slavery, the democratic language hung like garland on a republican system of government, the city-on-a-hill idealism and the realpolitik of Native American policies. All through it, he highlights an important American creed: the right of the person to “get along” (his wording) by succeeding at whatever he wants to do without help or hindrance from the government. The bounty of the American expanse, especially in land, means to this day there is room for the productive person to leave behind whatever society, religion, or caste holds him back, and come to America and succeed.

Among Johnson’s most penetrating insights were:

the unique nature of the Founding Fathers and the Constitution they created. Lost in today’s criticism of them is the fact they created not only the best, but the first written constitution, and one which has lasted the longest and been most successfully adapted.
The importance of compromise in American success, both in political and personal activities. When Americans have been willing to accept half a loaf (metaphorically speaking), they have been most successful. When they insist on purity of thought and policy, they have failed. The original concept of the separation of Church and State lies in the former, while Prohibition is in the latter.
The long history of partisan media, which only briefly in the twentieth century veered toward something self-described as “objective journalism” but then morphed into a elite, independent interest group. Today’s partisan media sources are actually a return to what the Founders saw as normal, even if they didn’t like it then, either.
A similar history of political violence that dwarfs anything happening today. A good dose of history provides solid immunity to those shouting about the “unprecedented” this or that event. We’re not tarring-n-feathering one another, beating Representatives near to death in the Capitol, or loosing the FBI and IRS on political opponents. Wait, hold up on that last one.
While Johnson’s conservative views are evident, his consistent appraisal of Presidents defies partisan approaches. Coolidge and LBJ do well, Bush ’41 and Clinton do not. He prefers Reagan to Carter, but Nixon to either. His overall positive appraisal of Nixon brings howls from liberals and progressives, but his factual account of Nixon’s record is unassailable, and while no one apparently voted for him in 1972, he won the greatest electoral/popular victory in American history, a sin for which the newly self-appointed media opposition will never forgive him. The author criticizes both FDR and JFK for widespread mendacity and libertine behavior, but gives the former his due in enacting the New Deal.

Worth reading? absolutely. There’s a free copy floating about in the library aboard the Celebrity Silhouette. Versions are no doubt in your local library or available cheap on line. One final amusing anecdote: When I considered the work’s reviews on Amazon, I noted the vast majority were positive. Some got quite excited that Johnson confused some civil war generals or the dates of specific events. But the interesting ones went like this: ‘I enjoyed this book until it got into current events, when it became clear the author had clearly lost his mind (i.e., disagreed with my views).’ All I could think of was: is it more likely a well-published author suddenly lost his way at the end of a history work, or is it more likely your views don’t have the historic pedigree you thought, and perhaps need to be rethought? Good books are like that, they cause you to think, not just react.

AI

“I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

To borrow a phrase from Leon Trotsky, “you may not be interested in artificial intelligence, but artificial intelligence is interested in you.” It’s hard to avoid the subject of artificial intelligence, or AI, today. It’s all over the news, with bold predictions of how it will change everything. AI stocks are super hot, and China and the United States are in a chip race based on AI requirements. States, cities, and companies are building vast server farms to feed AI, spiking energy demand at exactly the same moment we’re supposed to be transitioning to electric vehicles! Much of what you hear is hype (no surprise), and you may be old enough (like me) to think, “well that will be somebody else’s problem with which to deal.” But probably not. However AI plays out, it will affect you within a few years, so it may be worth it to understand a little about AI now. Here goes:

I. AI is artificial, but it is not intelligence.

Some of the results AI programs can produce may look almost magical, but in the end, they result from a simple process. Everything called AI today is based on computer coding of large language models (LLMs). What is that? You already know that computers use “ones” and “zeros” (or digits, hence the digital world) to do everything they do. These large language models take words and turn them into tokens, or groups of ones/zeros. The base language doesn’t matter, which is why LLMs can work wonders with translations. What the program does is take the tokens (words in your view) and predict what the next token should be. The prediction uses a probability model (ok, no more math) that says, “based on what I have been trained on, what should the next word be?”

As a simple example, if you trained a LLM on the works of Shakespeare, then you asked it to describe “love,” the LLM would say things like, “love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,” or “when love speaks, the voice of all the gods make heaven drowsy with the harmony.” Beautiful, no? Now if you added the lyrics from the J. Geils band to the model’s learning, it might say “love stinks.” Which answer it gives is based on how many times it sees that particular combination of words, and who says it, and how.

But wait a second, we’re falling into a trap by using phrases like “it says” or “it sees.” It does nothing of the sort. The model searches its repository of data and pulls out all the tokens which represent “love” then looks at the tokens surrounding that token, then puts them together to respond to you. There is no thought involved. But how does it get such amazing textual answers?

The key is feeding the model more and more data. Companies started using things like Wikipedia, but that isn’t enough. Now they’re scraping public social media, ingesting copyrighted material, anything to get more data. Because the more data that your AI model uses to train on, the better the results you get. One problem AI faces is recency bias. In the rush to add ever more sources, developers turn to today’s data. Almost no one is creating original data from the 19th century, while the Kardashians probably provide a megabyte a minute. AI will lean ever more heavily on recent data for learning, which negates one of the lessons of history: the things that are best are those which stand the test of time. AI does not care about “right” and “wrong,” just “fit.”

II. AI is a tool, nothing more, nothing less.

The use of tools is the story of humanity, from fire to the wheel to flight to computers. Tools are neither good nor evil; it is all about how you use them. A steak knife can cut a filet or a jugular vein. Alfred Nobel thought TNT would revolutionize mining and engineering. So there is no reason to fear AI, but there are many reasons to learn about it.

Like any tool, AI requires some initial effort on your part to work properly. If you don’t learn to use it through practice, you’ll find it too hard to use (the story of me and typing, as my two-finger approach can attest!). Also, AI benefits from you, as another source of learning. AI programs learn how you speak, how you think, what you expect from interactions with you, and then can respond better to you. Of course, that also opens the door to manipulation, too. Current AI developers are not consciously trying to program AI to be “addictive,” but that is a real possibility.

As a tool, AI most benefits those who can master it. Regular AI users point out that if you ask AI a stupid or poorly-worded question, it may give you a similar answer! Why? Not even the developers know for sure. There is no way to “open the hood” and look at what the model is doing; it is just “doing.” Another mind-blowing fact: AI developers have noticed the AI programs seem to work more slowly and are less productive during December. The developers think the AI has “internalized” the notion of a holiday season from its data, and answers accordingly.

III. AI can do many things for you, but maybe not better than you.

Since it is ultimately simply a computer program, AI is fantastic at taking over mundane or routine work. It never tires, never sleeps, never asks for a raise. Computer programmers love it, as “coding” often involves reams of simple instructions which are boring to write, but perfect to be automated. AI is great at giving you choices. Remember how great it was when you first googled “synonyms for” and found a ton of great alternatives? Now you can ask AI to take a paragraph you wrote and give you five different and better alternatives, and milliseconds later, you have them. AI assistants can “look over your shoulder” as you work on an email, for example, and tell you that your tone is harsh or you’ve mixed up the dates you’ve asked for the work to be completed.

What do you do better than AI? Probably the things at which you are best. The initial AI efforts wrote about as well as a sixth-grader. Current models are working at the undergraduate-level. AI will continue to advance, but it will never replace human expertise. For one thing, its data is based on human expertise, so it needs humans to continue pushing the limits of science, art, philosophy and the like in order to provide the “tokens” AI uses. So a very good lawyer may use AI to do research, or to hone a closing argument, but she will not be replaced by AI. Because AI also “hallucinates.” (Notice how we anthropomorphize AI? we have to talk about it a living, thinking “thing” just to make sense of it!).

There are great examples of this. Remember how AI “guesses” the next word? In most legal briefs, you’ll find the phrase “according to the case of X vs Y, . . .” AI “knows” it should use these tokens when you ask it a legal question, but if it can’t find the right citation, it will simply invent one! To AI, these are the right “tokens” to use, but to us, it’s just plain making things up. Since it has no free will, the AI developers call it hallucinating, since what AI does makes sense to it, but not in the real world.

AI can also be manipulated. Perhaps you heard about Google’s AI called Gemini, which started generating images of black Nazis, Asian Vikings, and Indian Romans. How did that happen. AI generated tokens to create images, but a developer put a filter in the program to make the images it created “more diverse.” So AI promptly ignored reality and made black Nazis. These problems are easy to correct, but demonstrate how AI can go wrong.

Now that’s diversity in action! (from the New York Times)

Positive counter examples exist in the world of medicine. AI can look at hundreds of millions of CAT scans and never tires, never has a headache or eye-strain. A good technician will still beat AI, but AI can serve as an initial screening tool or a post facto double-check. AI can also look at large bodies of medical data and find correlations which individual doctors might never see. Likewise, AI is looking at the development of thousands of ways to fold protein molecules into amino acids and thereby make treatments for various illnesses and conditions. Such work, even with modern supercomputers, would have taken decades.

IV. AI is coming, like it or not.

AI is part of the ongoing digital revolution, which means it happens at a pace with which we humans just aren’t prepared to deal. We have gone from the beta (testing) version of AI to level 4.0 in about ten years, and the trend is accelerating. Unlike the flying cars we were all promised in the 1960s, or the electric vehicle revolution which is always just around the corner, AI is already creeping into many things, whether you realize it or not.

Computers were supposed to replace mundane tasks, and they did put typists out of a job, but then coders became a thing. Now coders are in danger, and even so-called “white collar” workers are being reviewed. If you’re average or below average at your white-collar job (and half of people are, by definition), your boss will be considering whether an AI program could easily replace you. AI is seeping into service centers, the places where someone from India tried to convince you they were in Cincinnati and really wanted to help you. AI can make travel recommendations, edit papers, even “teach.” As it does so, there will be examples of really excellent AI efforts that are astoundingly successful, and others which are complete busts.

What cannot be denied is that the level of investment going on in the AI field, the development of the data sources and the research into better ways for AI to learn mean it will continue to affect you, personally, whether you realize it or not.

V. AI will exacerbate inequality.

As much as humans are a learning species, it is amazing that we always convince ourselves this next tool will be all to the good. Mark Zuckerberg thought Facebook would be a place for people to connect and become “friends.” This despite his original intent was to create a site for guys to rate girls on their “attractiveness.” Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Google worked under the motto, “Don’t be evil,” despite the fact illegal child porn was immediately one of the top search functions.

The internet writ large didn’t make humans smarter, despite making all the world’s knowledge instantly searchable. It did allow neo-Nazis, perverts, and fraudsters a chance to meet and grow. All that information devolves into cat videos, Tindr, and scams. AI will be no different. A good writer will perfect an even better paragraph or story. A scam artist, a better pitch, customized just to you. A good priest, a better sermon. A crank, a more inviting screed against whatever. For every medical breakthrough, there will be fake-news causing unnecessary death or illness.

The power of AI will enable people to do great and terrible things. Those who better understand AI will be better at using it, and far better at avoiding it using them.

E-clip-sin’

Back around eleven months ago, I realized the path of totality for the April 8th solar eclipse was running through Mazatlán, Sinaloa, Mexico. While it’s not close (six hour drive), it’s close enough to lakeside, and we were still early enough to reserve a decent Airbnb. So we found ourselves in a very nice apartment on the 14th floor (18 story building) on the playa in Mazatlán.

The night before, we stood on the balcony and nabbed these pics of what seemed to be a typical Sunday night, with steady traffic along the beach drive and small crowds on the malecon. Of course there was a local group playing banda music directly in front of our building till midnight, but earplugs, a white noise machine, and some melatonin remedied that.

The crowds started to build in the morning. Breakfast at the mom-n-pop restaurant next to our building took twenty minutes to be seated, a full hour to be served, and they were going as fast as they could. By the time we finished and paid, it was only about thirty minutes to totality. The police had suddenly shut down auto access to the beach drive, so traffic was a nightmare, as people who planned to drive down to the beach were suddenly rerouted through the narrow side streets. But it gave the growing crowds unfettered access to the road and the sun show.

Our balcony was facing the beach, and it wasn’t clear if we could stay there and still see the eclipse. As the time grew near, we found a balcony spot where we could stand and–using those special glasses–look at the sun. By the time totality hit, there were several spots on the balcony with a full view.

Here’s my video of the event, with voice over:

The mostly Mexican crowds had a festive atmosphere, even cheering when a few rowdies got hauled away by the policia. As the eclipse neared totality, the crowd started cheering, and resumed it when the sun finally peeked out the other side of the moon. It was very interesting, if brief. I was struck by how “duskish” or “dawnish” it was; dark where we were, but you could see daylight in the distance in every direction, which was odd. And I imagined what it must have been like for people before science could explain and even predict it all; one minute, you’re working on your crops, then it gets dark under a cloudless sky, then light again. What did one make of that?

Our friends Barbara and John joined us for the event, and here’s John’s much better video, which captures how dark it was, and some of the crowd reactions better:

And you knew this had to be added somewhere in the post:

As an event, was the eclipse worth it? Yes, but I would add I think I only need to see totality once. And totality is totally different from any other (even 95%) type of eclipse. My mind wasn’t blown, nor did I have a moment of cosmic enlightenment. It was fun.

How about Sinaloa in general, or Mazatlán in particular. For all the talk about cartel violence, the city was quiet for the event, with the exception of the violence banda does to one’s ears! Perhaps it was the presence of Mexico’s Presidente AMLO, or the number of Guardia National and policia present, but everyone was on their best behavior. We had one brief stop on the autopista (toll road) along the way: a well-run military checkpoint asking if we were trying to import any fruta (fruit) into Sinaloa. Turns out that Sinaloa, like California, is free of the dreaded Mediterranean fruit fly, and wants to stay that way!

Mazatlán has some long, easily accessible beaches, a cute old centro, and plenty of water activities. And it’s still affordable, as it is not yet a big tourist destination. As a low-cost alternative to better-known Mexican resorts, it deserves a look. As a place to watch an eclipse, it was perfect. Now to get some fresh seafood and a margarita!