Thanks. Giving.

I know I’ve mentioned before my family’s peculiar habit of moving holidays to suit our needs. Thanksgiving is the big get-together for Judy and I, our kids, their spouses, and the grand-kids. Several years back, we tried moving our celebration of it up two weeks, to coincide with the Veterans’ Day Holiday in the States. It was magnificent! Not only did we have easy flights and easy time off from work, the weather was about the same. Of course once we broke through the notion that Thanksgiving had to be the fourth Thursday in November, inevitably it led to it being a truly movable feast.

This year, our daughter and family from Italy were coming back to the States for a wedding in October, so of course we moved Thanksgiving all the way up to then. Just so happens, Canada beat us to it: in case you didn’t know, Canada celebrates Thanksgiving, much the same as the States do, but on the second Monday in October. We insisted on a Thursday, so our combined family from the USA, Italy and Mexico celebrated almost-Canadian Thanksgiving in October. In Cincinnati, Ohio. Of course.

The trip began well enough. That first morning, Gramps (that’s me) and all the grand-kids got up at the crack of dawn for a ride out into the Ohio countryside to visit Holtman’s Donut Shop, a local legend. We had a list of desired donuts, totaling two per person per day. The entire operation was run with military precision: it is amazing what children will do when properly motivated by a maple-bacon cruller, or an Oreo Cro-nut. Reinforced with all that sugar, the day truly began.

There were a few hiccups. I contacted every local butcher shop, but none had fresh turkeys. Even a local turkey farm said “no bueno.” Judy pre-ordered groceries for delivery, so we would have all the necessary fixings. Except the Meijer grocery store decided not to deliver the frozen turkey. And the cranberries. And the Brussels sprouts. And the gravy. And what they did deliver arrived at ten pm, after saying they would deliver before nine. An unplanned scavenger hunt at local grocery stores the next morning replaced everything except the turkey, and as it was too late for defrosting anyway, we subbed-in smoked beef ribs and pulled pork.

While we were shopping, we decided we all wanted to get flu shots (the family that gets stuck together, sticks together, right?), so we asked for them at the Kroger minute clinic, which was advertising “walk-in convenience.” Apparently that means something other than literally what it says, as the flustered clinician told us it couldn’t be done for several hours. He couldn’t explain why, but that was that. We went to another Kroger and did get them done, but it took a good hour and a half.

The weather cooperated fully, and the leaves were starting to turn in southern Ohio, with crisp mornings and bright sunny days. On the day of our movable feast, we walked the kids around some local parks, just to burn off the donuts. By mid-afternoon, we were past the sugar high and ready to feast! And what a feast: the aforementioned ribs and pulled pork, corn and breaded cauliflower and Brussels sprouts and sweet potato casserole, Judy’s famous stuffing (with sausage, chestnuts, onions and bread), cranberry relish, fruit salad, crescent rolls and Outback Steakhouse bread (and yes, a bloomin’ onion, just because), washed down with wine and beer. If it sounds like an odd mix, that’s because Judy insists everybody gets to choose one item for the menu. There’s some horse-trading about the staples, then some one-off selections. And way too much food.

Then with full bellies we settled in for a nap!

No, just kidding. We hadn’t played the annual Turkey Bowl yet, so after just enough time for the food to be moved safely into our lower digestive tract, we walked over to the high school football field. The local team was practicing on their turf, but there was a flag football field helpfully marked off nearby on the grass, and the game was on. A bruising (mostly me, as I insisted on diving for a catch) battle ensued, ending with Team Gramps kicking a go-ahead field goal (3-0). The other team was given one last chance to win (sudden death rules), but their fourth down pass in the end zone fell incomplete.

Post-game celebrations included banana pudding, pecan pie, apple cobbler, and ice cream. Leftover donuts and pie were on the breakfast menu the next day, with ice cream, of course!

As we like to say in my family, a get-together with no police visits, emergency room visits, or familial brawls is a success. I wish y’all a Happy Thanksgiving, whenever you get around to celebrating it (here’s to you, Canada!). And if you find yourself stuck in bad weather or crowded airports, remember a better way for next year!